....., Mom," I answered softy.It had been ten years since I had spoken to my mother. The last time wespoke we had parted with both of us spewing hatred toward each other.That was when I walked out the door, never to return. It hadn't beengood, but I felt it was time to bury the hatchet. It was only three daysuntil Christmas, and this year I wanted to spend it with my mother andfather."John, John, is that really you?" my mother asked, with the obvioussurprise showing in her voice."Yes Mother, its me," I responded, as the sadness washed away, only tobe replaced with anger."My God Johnny, it's been ten years. Why haven't you called?" sheimplored.I wanted to snap at her, she knew why, but doing that would just widenthe gap between us once again."You know why Mom. I couldn't," I answered, as I buried my anger."I thought you were dead, and so did your father," she said."No mother, I'm not dead. Mom, I want to come home for Christmas," Isaid brightly, trying not to betray my feelings.I was. This story is my confession and my acceptance of what I am deep inside, a closet predator.When we were younger we had fooled around. My older Step-Sister, Kiara, any my younger Step-Sister, Kiana, and I would beg our Step-Dad to let us sleep in the camper we owned. He would relent and the 3 of us would get up in the top bunk and the shorts would come off. We’d enjoy 2 or 3 hours of mutual exploration, put our clothes on, and go to sleep cuddling. My Step-Father eventually put a stop to that citing our advanced age. Looking back, maybe he knew. After a while, all of this activity stopped. I was more or less a grown man by 14 and my older Step-Sister was worried I might get her pregnant if we continued fooling around. Kiana and I still messed around some though. Unbeknownst to my older sister, I’d sneak in and climb in Kiana’s bunk. Kiana and I would engage in some touching, masturbation, and outercourse. This went on until Kiara started her periods and then she quit letting it go on.
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